Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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