Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It's Friday. Sex?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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