It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
