Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
