Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
