I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
