you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think i peed on brittanys purse
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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