Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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