I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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