we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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