You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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