just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize