mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
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In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
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Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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