P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
