I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
