We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
