Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
