I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
A bitchslap is in order.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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