Are you still at the party or did I leave?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
