he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize
