nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
