Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
