So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
