i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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