Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
