i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
