so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
