I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
