Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
When did we convert life to cartoon?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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