So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
