Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I seem to have left my pride at pride
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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