your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
