I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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