i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
