You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
