are you still at the devil's house?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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