Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
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I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
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Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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