dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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