I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize