I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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