Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
