Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
