yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
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