Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
