Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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