We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize