I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
