I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
