Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
