I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
