I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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