That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
