Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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