dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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