I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize