Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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