Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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