White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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