I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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