My nipple is on Facebook.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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