I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
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Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
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I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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