I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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