Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
