glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
a search helicopter?!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
