C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
